The Fall of the Light

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I am very sad today.

I am writing this in a big food house and i am hurting and making blood. Normally i do not write when i am hurting but i am hurting also because i am sad and writing is good for helping.

Yesterday my friends open their food house and it is really good. I feel bad because everyone is doing something and i am always making trouble when i try and do things so i just try to be a nice friend at everyone. I don't break anything and no one yells at me so i think maybe i am helping. I forget to say but a lady does yell at me. I remember i am good at eating so i go to the food room in the back of the house and eat some food to see if it is good and it is. The food lady yells at me but i think she is just being caring of her food so that is ok. I am thinking i will help with eating food again later. Maybe I am cooking someday too i hope. A ursar can dream.

I forget to say before and i can not scratch my words because i am writing the ink but before that we meet the tall man from the party and he is wanting to buy the big food house. Kerin calls it the on mix badger. I know the badger but i do not know what mix is meaning here but i think it is maybe a feeling like happy or good. It is a food house so maybe it means something like hungry i am thinking. If yes then i am always on mix like the badger. I ask kerin later.

Kerin punches the tall man and he is crying and saying he is made to trap people at the party by the slave or he is killed. What he does is bad but he is made to do it and i think he is sorry. Kerin and leta want to kill him but i talk at them and they let him go. It is good to know that they are hearing my ideas now so i am not thinking that i am possessed anymore. I hope my ideas are good because it is a big thing to have people do things because i talk at them. I am more careful with my talking now because of it.

Later a little man i think i know from a party tells us to go to a house in the desert called a red prison. He says there are minotaurs there they are cow people if you do not know. I learn that in the book at the magic house. I am excited to meet the cow people because i think they are like my people. My friends do not want to go but i am wanting to be the first ursari to meet a cow man so i go to the town and leta gives me a book about cow people. It has pictures and is very good i like it a lot. You give things to friends in my tribe so i think leta is my friend now. I am wanting to give her a thing too but i do not know what leta is liking maybe a knife or hat. I am looking all the time now. The book says the cow people like gold coins so i save my gold coins to make good hello with the cow people. I think they maybe want to kill us when we say hello because we are not friends so i hope my friends have care and make time and do not try to kill the minotaur because they are cows. They are people also i hope my friends are knowing that. Maybe we are all friends someday.

We walk to the cow people but stop at a food house and inside is a tall fat ugly man and i kill him because he hits me. He is called a ogre. We meet more ogre in a cave and i kill them but kerin makes magic and i am close to dying but i am not. I think earth mother looks at me from kerin because sometimes i am not on fire but today she is not looking and i am on fire. We meet a scary ogre but he is not really a ogre he is called a oni and i kill him too but i am close to dying again. Cadmael dies but i pick him up and he looks happy. Cadmael helps me always so i am thinking i want to help him too. In the back of the cave is little cubs and they are scared so we take them to the big food house. The tall people in the food house are happy because their cubs are not dead and they say thank you and want us to stay in the food house and eat. I am not on mix tonight though because i see other tall people crying because they have cubs that do not come home. I am thinking i want cubs also someday if i find good lady and i am sad thinking about me being them today. I go upstairs to think and write so i maybe feel better.

I do not feel better so i am sleeping now.

Ursar